i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
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You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I FOUND THE LEGS
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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