we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
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Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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