she woke up with a sticky ear
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
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He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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