Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
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I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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