for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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