nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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