Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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