oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize