Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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