Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize