I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize