we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize