I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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