somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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