my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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