Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize