Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize