Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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