Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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