My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize