sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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