He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
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Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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