I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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