so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
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