I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize