I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize