So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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