I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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