It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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