white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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