using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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