Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
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I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
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but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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