i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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