i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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