he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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