these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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