we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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