No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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