So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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