somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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