Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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