i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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