I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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