One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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