Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize