someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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