as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize