We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
