this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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