I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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